The Sasuke Lovers Club
by Chibi Chan the Fluffy Bunny
Summary: Naruto, in an attempt to get closer to Sakura, joins a girls only club called "The Sasuke-Lovers Club". He's a male though, so how's he gonna get in? Sexy no Jutsu of course! It's going to be a rocky road ahead! R&R please! Chapter 3 Up!
1. The Sasuke Lovers Club

A/N: Well there's nothing really to say, except I hope you enjoy the fic. Oh yes, three years has passed between the current story arc and this. I am writing as if everyone survived and Naruto brought Sasuke back alive and everyone was happy. Oh yes, their Chuunins now. On with the story!  
  
"WHAT!?"  
  
Naruto was surprised. No, not totally surprised, but definitely partially surprised. He was also angry. Angry at the fact that after all he did, that other boy got all the attention. So there he sat. A half angry, half surprised Naruto, staring at a newspaper in disbelief. It was probably unreadable now that orange juice had been spat all over it.  
  
Naruto stood up, trying to act calm. However, it wasn't working very well. He was shaking in anger. He began tearing the newspaper apart, letting the pieces fall delicately onto his kitchen table and floor. When the deed was done, he was still shaking. Turning towards the door, he reached for the knob, but took his hand back and punched the door instead.  
  
_"Why him? Why is it always that bastard?"_ The blond boy thought. _"What did he do? Run away and try to join Sound? Hell, I brought him back! I should be getting praised!"_ Naruto ran back to his room, and quickly tearing his pajamas off, he threw on an orange jumpsuit in his closet. Then it was back to the front door. This time, upon reaching for the doorknob he succeeded in opening the door. In a flash, he was running down the halls of his apartment complex, getting out. He had to get away.  
  
"Naruto, you okay?" Iruka had just arrived, but at a bad time. Naruto's door was wide open, but there was no Naruto. He walked in.  
  
He noticed the state the house was in. Dirty, as always. He looked into Naruto's room. Still no Naruto, but his pajamas were on the floor. That means Naruto had gone somewhere. However, upon arriving at the kitchen, he noticed something strange. A half drank glass of orange juice, and a still slightly warm bowl of ramen.  
  
"Naruto always finishes his ramen. Strange." Iruka's thoughts broke upon seeing the orange juice stained pieces of newspaper all over the table. One piece, bigger than the rest happened to stick out though. It said:  
  
**Announcing the grand opening of the Sasuke-Lovers club! All girls who love Sasuke are welcome! The first meeting is this Friday evening at seven. Don't forget to bring your sleeping bags! The address is below.  
  
123 Cherry Blossom Drive  
**  
Iruka frowned a bit. He knew how badly Sasuke irked Naruto. Naruto must've seen it. _"I guess I'll catch up to him later then."_ Iruka thought, walking out of the tiny apartment. He cursed himself before running back to the room. He forgot to shut the door. He just couldn't imagine how he would feel if Naruto were to get robbed.

* * *

Naruto was getting tired, yet he kept running. It had been more than three years since that night Sasuke had ran away, and the day when Naruto went and got him back. It wasn't easy; Sasuke had put a fight, and a good one at that. But in the end, Naruto had won and returned to the village, much to everyone's delight. Naruto was hoping that Sakura would get over Sasuke and go after him instead. It didn't happen.  
  
Sure, over the three years, Sakura and Naruto had become pretty close. But only as friends, and she emphasized on that quite a bit. She seemed to know about Naruto's crush on her lingering.  
  
Naruto finally turned into Cherry Blossom drive and ran up to Sakura's house. He had to convince her to not join that club. If she did, then his already slim chances with her would get even slimmer.  
  
Naruto slammed himself into the door from exhaustion. That long nonstop run had taken a toll on him, but he would catch his breath soon enough. After all, Jiraiya's hard workouts kept him in shape. When Sakura finally answered the door, Naruto's angry demeanor vanished. He smiled from ear to ear, and barged into the house.  
  
Sakura was used to this by now. She and Naruto were good friends, and barged into each other's houses, much to her parents dismay. Over the past three years, Sakura had bloomed into a beautiful young woman. She had grown taller and more curvaceous, however, Naruto now had two inches on her. At least she had him for a couple of years.  
  
"Naruto!" Sakura scolded. "My parents are still trying to sleep. You're lucky I was about to go shopping early this morning."  
  
"Sorry, Sakura-Chan." Naruto rubbed the back of his head. "It's just that, I just read something urgent in the newspaper."  
  
"You did?" Sakura inquired, guiding Naruto out of her house and walking out too, briskly shutting the door. "Tell me about it as we walk."  
  
Naruto, being the overdramatic person he is, had gone through his whole morning in detail. He talked about how he woke up, then went into his kitchen. Then he talked about his dilemma about what type of ramen he wanted to have for breakfast. By the time he got to the part about the newspaper, they were already at the grocery store.  
  
"Yea, and then I saw an ad for this...this...Sasuke-lovers club...and it made me sick!"  
  
Sakura giggled a bit when she heard this. Judging by how Naruto had dramatically slammed into her door and barged into her house, she thought it was something important. But it was only about the club she was starting.  
  
"And...?" She asked, urging him to go on.  
  
"You're not going to join it are you!?"  
  
Sakura only stared at him. She looked at his face, looking for any sign of a smile. Then to his eyes, looking for a sign of mischief. He had to be joking. Did he really not know. Was he really that dense?  
  
"Uh...Naruto," Sakura started, pointing to herself. "I started it."  
  
Naruto's eyes grew wide. She was lying! No way in Hell! Why? She had even told him herself that she was getting over him. Then again, that was a couple years ago. And that was before Sasuke defeated Itachi and became nicer. That's right, he was nicer, but Naruto and him still weren't exactly on friendly terms. That was enough for Sakura to fall back in love with him, but why, why didn't she tell him, her closest male friend?  
  
"You're kidding." He said matter-of-factly.  
  
"Uh, no. 123 Cherry Blossom Drive is my address." Sakura said. So he really didn't know. He really was that dense.  
  
_"123 Cherry Blossom Drive?"_ He thought, trying to remember the address on the newspaper. "Aww man, that is her address!"  
  
"Oh..." He muttered, lowering his head. His anger had faded, and so did his happy demeanor. Now he was depressed. He hadn't been this down since that day when Mizuki told him about the scroll. "Well, I'll see you later."  
  
"Alright." Sakura murmured. She didn't mean to hurt his feelings, but she couldn't just lie to him. She waved to his back as he slowly trudged toward his home.

* * *

When the door to his home slammed, the bits of paper flew all over the place. He looked to his kitchen table, noticing the cold half-finished bowl of ramen and half-finished glass of orange juice. Sighing dejectedly, he resigned to clean.  
  
He started with his kitchen, dumping the ramen into the trash and pouring his juice out in the sink. After taking a fan and blowing the pieces of paper into the hallway, he took the trash out and figured he was done. It had been a while since he'd cleaned, and his kitchen was still dirty, but Naruto will always be Naruto, eh?  
  
After cleaning the rest of his house, Naruto had some laundry. So now, he was on his way to the Laundromat. He was still down in the dumps, and looking down at the ground the whole way. About halfway there though, he finally ran into someone.  
  
"Hey, watch where you're going!"  
  
"Sorry." He mumbled.  
  
"Hey, it's Naruto!" Naruto immediately noticed that voice. It was Jiraiya.  
  
"Hey Naruto, I was looking for you. You see, I'm having a bit of trouble taking notes for my book, so can I get a peek at your Sexy no Jutsu?"  
  
Naruto's eye began to twitch. Jiraiya would never change. Even though Naruto was really a male, Jiraiya would always like his "female" form. Naruto shuddered just thinking about it.  
  
"Jiraiya, I'm not in the mood." Naruto muttered, gathering himself and his dirty laundry up. "Don't you ever get tired of it. I mean, I'm not really a female."  
  
"But you look like one!" Jiraiya laughed. "Oh fine, I'll just keep trying at the hot springs."  
  
Naruto continued to walk toward the Laundromat. However, those last few words Jiraiya said kept echoing in his head. "But you look like one!" Then, it hit him.  
  
_"If I could find out what kind of guy Sakura likes, then she'll like me instead of Sasuke!"_ He thought. _"And what better way to do that then to pretend to be a girl and join her club!?"_ Naruto's step picked up, and by the time he reached the Laundromat, his mood had turned completely upside down. In the end, he was still going to get the girl. He couldn't wait until Friday.  
  
A/N: I'm sorry if this chapter was boring, but I have to lead into the story somehow. Oh yes, this is my first attempt at a humor fiction, so if I seem humorly challenged...well, you'll know why. Next chapter, Naruto shops for women's clothes! 


	2. The Day Before

A/N: Thanks so much for all of the kind reviews! I had been meaning to write this story for quite some time now. Anyways, after this chapter, I may not be able to update this story quite as much as I'll be working on four whole stories. Don't worry about it though, I tend to do better when I work on multiple things. Anyways, on with the fic!  
  
Thursday. He couldn't believe that it was Thursday already, and he still didn't have clothes. It was strange; every time he came to the mall to get some women's clothing, he'd freeze up just outside of the store. He had done that Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, and now, he'd done it again. Naruto gathered himself up, took in a deep breath, and went into the forbidden grounds.  
  
When he entered the store, he was immediately hit by a cool breeze, and with it, a faint smell of roses. He looked around, noticing that there were a lot of women here. Even though they weren't, he felt that they were watching his every move, as if he were some kind of alien.  
  
"Well are you gonna move!?" Naruto jumped at the sound of a voice behind him. He turned around to see a plump lady with her hands on her hips. Upon inspecting his surroundings, he realized he was in the doorway.  
  
"Oh, sorry." Naruto mumbled, moving out of the way. The woman squeezed through the doorway and went on about her business, not even questioning the fact that he was in a women's clothing store.  
  
_"Okay, just keep your cool."_ Naruto said to himself, going over to one of the racks. He searched through a few tanks tops, and decided that none were him. Then he thought about it for a second. _"None of these are you, Naruto! Just pick one and get it over with!"_ Naruto picked a few orange tanktops, then when to go look for some bottoms.  
  
After getting bottoms, Naruto went to the underwear section to get some underwear. He looked at a few, deciding on some nice pink ones.  
  
Drip.  
  
Naruto's eyes grew wide and he dropped his clothes. His nose was bleeding! He cursed his sensei for poisoning his mind, and left a mental note to hurt the older man later. For now, he had to get rid of this nose bleed. He looked around him. Nothing but underwear. Well, no one was watching. Why not?  
  
Naruto took some underwear from the rack and covered his nose with them. However, this didn't work, as his nose started to bleed even more. _"Damn you Jiraiya!"_ He thought, putting the panties back. He picked up one of his shirts and covered his nose with that.  
  
"Much better..." He said out loud, and when he felt that the bleeding stopped, he threw the shirt aside.  
  
The issue with the panties still wasn't solved. He timidly reached for them, stopping every now and then in case of a nosebleed. He was really gonna hurt Jiraiya.  
  
"Gotcha!" Naruto exclaimed, grabbing a few pair. Now it was time to leave.  
  
Naruto ran to the cash register, eager to get out of the place. The atmosphere was...to nice for his liking, and it smelled too good. However, there was still one obstacle in his way.  
  
"Why are you getting women's clothes?"  
  
Naruto's jaw dropped. He should've noticed who was at the register! He should have gone to another. It was too late now though, he'd have to explain.  
  
"Well Ino, you see-"  
  
"You know what, on second thought, I don't think I want to know Naruto."  
  
Naruto wiped his brow. So he wouldn't have to explain after all. That made things so much easier. When the last beep of the register came, he almost forgot to give Ino the money because he was ready to get out of the store. His pace only quickened when he heard a woman's voice shreaking.  
  
"Are these underwear used!? They have blood on them!"

* * *

"Naruto, you really have lost it haven't you?" Shikamaru asked, moving a piece and taking Chouji's. They were playing shougi, and Naruto had just told then his plan. He had also offered to find try and hook them up with some girls...for a price of course.  
  
"I agree with Shikamaru on this one." That was Chouji. "It's a really bad idea."  
  
Chouji, Shikamaru, and Naruto had become good friends over the years. Although Naruto wasn't into playing shougi, he certainly enjoyed wathing Shikamaru kick Chouji's butt to brighten his day sometimes. Shikamaru, over the years, had only gotten taller and lazier. He had Naruto and Chouji by a few inches. Chouji on the other hand, had gotten rounder. He didn't grow that much taller, but he still had an inch or so on Naruto.  
  
"Oh come on, guys." Naruto reasoned, throwing his hands up. "You're just jealous."  
  
Shikamaru looked at him with a "You loser" look, but then the look turned into a frown. Naruto looked behind him, and noticed Sasuke walking by. The raven-head boy smiled and walked over to them.  
  
"Hello short one." He said, gesturing towards Naruto. "Hello Shikamaru, Chouji."  
  
Sasuke and Naruto were definitely on better terms than they were three years ago. Frankly, after Sasuke beat his brother, he had become a LOT less of a cold-hearted bastard. He and Naruto, however, still weren't exactly friends.  
  
"I'll catch up one day!" Naruto yelled in response to Sasuke. The boy's rival was still taller than him.  
  
"Hey Sasuke, we were just talking about you actually." Chouji said, moving a piece. "About your little fan club actually."  
  
"Ugh, don't remind me." Sasuke griped with a frown. Shikamaru took another of Chouji's pieces, to which Chouji cursed in reply. "I wish that they'd stop chasing me. I might pretend to have a girlfriend so they will."  
  
"I don't think that'll stop them." Shikamaru said, taking another of Chouji's pieces. Then he turned to the black-haired boy. "But you can try."  
  
"I supposed." Sasuke said after a little thought. He leaned down and whispered something into Chouji's ear. Chouji moved a piece, and yelled "Checkmate!"  
  
Shikamaru gasped and almost fell out of his chair. He looked the board over, then looked to Chouji. Then he glared at Sasuke before looking at the board again.  
  
"Go away." He said, still glaring. Naruto had been glaring since Sasuke had come.  
  
"Fine, fine." Sasuke said. He really liked messing with those three.  
  
"Doesn't he just suck the humor out of anywhere he goes?" Naruto venomously said, still glaring at Sasuke's quickly disappearing figure.  
  
"Yeah, he does." Shikamaru was glaring too. He looked to Chouji; he had obviously decided that it was too much trouble glaring at Sasuke. "Another game?"  
  
"Sure." Chouji said, shrugging. They both began setting up their pieces, and when the game was about to start, he quickly added: "He's not **so** bad."

* * *

"Home, sweet home!" Naruto inhaled the smell of his home, the smell of ramen. The smell of miso ramen had long since permanently been sealed within his walls, but he was Naruto, so why would he care?  
  
Upon walking into his room, he noticed the clothes on his bed. _"I'm ready for this."_ He assured himself. _"Sakura will be mine quite soon."_ He walked towards his calendar, marking off Thursday. It was the evening, so he decided he might as well.  
  
"Tomorrows the day." He said, sitting on his bed. He looked at the clothes. "There's no backing down now."  
  
Naruto then stood up from his bed, hitting himself on the head. _"That's right, I was around Sasuke today."_ He quickly threw off all of his clothes and ran to his bathroom. _"I need a shower."_ He jumped in, turning the water on. _"I should use that one day."_ He thought, laughing a bit at his own inside joke. He sighed as the warm water hit his skin, relaxing his his stressed muscles. He had began training more often to get his master plan off his mind. It helped, but he decided not to to it today because he was just too excidted. Tomorrow was the day.  
  
A/N: Ahhh...all done. How do you like the way I depicted Sasuke? How about Shikamaru, or Chouji? I'm planning on having everyone in this story at one point or another, and each of them probably playing a major part in the grand scheme of things...maybe. Anyways, remember to R&R and that's it. Goodbye!


	3. The Grand Opening

Chapter 3: Grand Opening

Naruto looked himself over in the mirror, spinning around with a smile on his face. It took him a while to get used to the jeans, but after a few minutes of walking in them, he was fine. He ran a hand through his long blonde hair. He had decided to take out the pigtails because people might recognize him otherwise. _"I'm pretty hot!"_ He thought, doing another spin.  
  
Before he could ogle at himself in the mirror some more, he heard a gentle rapping at his door. He began to panic, stripping off all of his clothes and changing back into his regular self. He threw on some pants before running to the door, where the knocking had multiplied in volume.  
  
"Yes?" Naruto opened the door, greeting a surprised Iruka.  
  
"Naruto, do you have something to tell me?" Iruka asked, looking at his chest.  
  
Naruto, thinking Iruka was coming on to him, threw his arms over his chest. Then he felt it. In his rush to go open the door, he had forgotten to take off the bra. He looked down at his chest, then back up at Iruka. He opened his mouth to say something, but nothing came out. How was he going to explain?  
  
_"Let's try this again, shall we?"_ Naruto thought to himself, closing the door in Iruka's face. He wouldn't.  
  
He took the bra off, staring at the door, still in shock. He walked into his room, tossing the bra in his bathroom and closing the door. He hadn't blinked since he had discovered the bra on himself, and his mouth still hadn't closed. He pulled on one of his blue shirts and walked back to his door, blinking a few times and closing his mouth before opening it.  
  
"Hi Iruka!" Naruto exclaimed, acting as if nothing happened. "What a surprise to see you here!"  
  
"Hi...Naruto..." Iruka replied to his greeting with a confused tone in his voice. "Weren't you just...?"  
  
"Come in, sit down!" Naruto disregarded Iruka's half question and gesturing towards a chair at his kitchen table.  
  
Iruka looked at Naruto for a moment before coming in and making himself at home. He was about to ask again, but decided based on Naruto's reaction it was best not to ask. Naruto closed the door and was soon seated across the table from Iruka, looking at him with a smile on his face.  
  
"The reason I came Naruto," Iruka began, sighing, "is that I'm worried about you."  
  
Naruto's eyes shifted around nervously. He began to drum his fingers on the table, and Iruka heard his foot tapping. Iruka spoke again before Naruto could get the wrong idea.  
  
"When I came by Monday, your kitchen was in a state of disarray." Iruka said, relieved when he heard Naruto exhale. "What happened?"  
  
"Oh it's just that!" Naruto exclaimed, waving his hand at Iruka. "I was just a little angered when I saw the ad for the Sasuke club, that's all."  
  
"I see..." Iruka mumbled standing up. "That's all I came for."  
  
"Oh, maybe we can grab some ramen tomorrow or something." Naruto chirped. "That is, if you're paying." A smile crept onto the blonde boy's face.  
  
Iruka only nodded, walking out of the small apartment. As he walked out of the complex, Iruka thought back to Monday morning, and the newspaper. _"I didn't know that he'd be affected in such a way..."_ He thought. _"It's only a club Naruto, snap out of it!"_

__

* * *

Hyuuga Hinata looked up at the looming house before her. She asked herself again why she had decided to join this club. She didn't even like Sasuke. She liked a boy that probably all of the girls in this club were disgusted with. Then she remembered why she joined this club. It was for him, the beautiful blonde who haunted her every thought, her every dream. You think after three years of not being noticed, she'd fall out of love, but, it had only grown stronger.  
  
Hinata could never ever talk to Naruto. She had a bit of a stutter problem, and when she was around him, it would only get worse. That's why she decided to join this club. She thought, maybe, just maybe, if she was around more people her shyness might go away. She looked up at the house; it seemed so big, and so dark. Maybe this wasn't such a good idea after all.  
  
Who's to say Naruto would ever like her anyway? He already liked Sakura, and that girl was blessed with more curves than Hinata would ever have. Sakura was beautiful. Hinata herself was not a bad looking girl, but she paled in comparison to the pink-haired girl Naruto crushed on.  
  
"Are you going in?" A voice whispered into her ear. Hinata gasped and turned around, finding behind her a beautiful blonde girl with too many curves to count. "Hi Hinata!" The girl said happily.  
  
"Do I...know you?" Hinata asked timidly, backing away.  
  
_"Dammit!"_ The girl thought._ "Make up a story, quick!"_  
  
"Uh...yea!" The blonde girl managed to say. "We met in a grocery once!"  
  
"You are...?" Hinata still didn't know who she was.  
  
_"Oh no...I haven't made up a name!"_ The girl thought. The smile was still plastered onto her face. After a moment of silence, Hinata thought that the girl hadn't heard, so she repeated the question.  
  
"You-"  
  
"Nurika!" Blurted the girl, interrupting Hinata's inquiry. "Zuukima Nurika!"  
  
Hinata thought for a moment, trying for her life to remember this girl. But she just couldn't. She didn't want to hurt her feelings though, so she just lied.  
  
"Yea, I remember you."  
  
_"Score!"_ Naruto thought, mentally patting himself on the back. _"Thought I was a goner."_ The two girls stood in an uncomfortable silence for a moment before Sakura opened the door.  
  
"Are you guys coming in? It's 7:15!" The pink haired girl yelled.  
  
Hinata and "Nurika" both headed into the Sakura household. It was too late to back down now.

* * *

Nurika picked up a cookie off of Sakura's kitchen counter, looking into the living room. He shoved the cookie in his mouth, savoring it as the chocolate chips and the cookie as a whole seemed to melt. He took a peek into the living room, which was right around the corner, and saw the girls gathered into a circle, talking about what the club was about. As if no one knew.  
  
There were Sakura and Ino, both of whom he thought to be enemies, and Hinata. Those were the ones he knew. Then there was Yuki, the black-haired girl who had graced them with the delicious chocolate cookies. She loved to cook. There was also Nina, who had pink pigtails and loved animals. It was apparent by the shirt she had on, which had a puppy on the front of it. Last was Hana, the blue-haired silent girl. Well, she was silent when it came to her own affairs at least. When it came to Sasuke though, her voice box came to life.  
  
It was a small group, unlike what Nurika expected, but that was fine. That would make her plan a lot easier.  
  
"Come here Nurika!" Ino called, waving the blonde girl over.  
  
"Hold on!" She called back. "I have to use the bathroom!"  
  
"Well it's..." Sakura trailed off, watching Nurika run up the stairs. When had she told her where the bathroom was?  
  
Nurika ran up the stairs, smiling. All she'd do is search Sakura's room a bit, then come back down and sit through the life-draining conversations about (gag) Sasuke. Then she'd commence the plan and soon...Sakura was hers.  
  
A/N: Sorry it's short, the next chapter will be longer. Anyways, R&R and other good things like that. Also, when Naruto is a girl, I'll address her by his girl name, which is Nurika. I know that the name Naruko has already been adopted for Naruto's girl counterpart, but come on, that's too close to Naruto. Anyways, I'll try to have the next chapter up by the weekend. Ja ne! 


End file.
